Welcome to SR. Glad you found us.
I too have a daughter who has Oppositional Defiance Disorder. It is extremely challenging to deal with as a parent. Is your child in any therapy? If not I would suggest it as it may help to alleviate some of the symptoms.
As far as drinking goes. I too had a substantial amount going on in my life when I realized I had to stop drinking as it was out of control and ruining my life but I had no clue how to live life without it and not be more miserable.
What I had to do was find a recovery program to help me. It was only when I did that I was able to find any length of time sober. There are many programs out there. Here is a list of many of them:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html Personally, AA is the one that worked for me. It has kept me sober for 10 years now. I can say that although getting sober and those first few months can be very hard, it is well worth it. You will find your way out of the darkness. Don't ever give up because it is only when we fail to keep trying that we truly fail.