Yeah, I would not do it how I did it a few months ago... I REACTED in a big way. Asked my corporate attorney for a recommendation on a divorce lawyer and just went with the guy... turned out he was not a good match for me, and it just added anxiety to an already stressful situation.
Take your time, slow down... and breath. There is no rush on any of what you are going through. Reacting leads to us to make hasty decisions that aren't always in line with what we *really* want.
I will say that now (after dragging my behind back to Al-anon!!!) when I feel like I need to do something/make a big/tough decision - my first action is picking up the phone and calling an Al-anon friend. It helps me slow down, stay on level ground and make decisions that honor ME.
The whole divorce/separation process is so painful and confusing... trying to do it alone without healthy support makes it even harder. I'm glad you're here and reaching out! Keep posting b/c we're here for you!
-Shannon