Tommy,
It was especially hard for me to think in early recovery, no matter how many times I tried to have a thought, it always seemed to be the wrong one
You have embarked on a life-changing journey and if you are successful, nothing in your current life will be the same. Please ask yourself the questions in the previous post by Susan once again honestly and openly with your Sponsor and or Home Group, then get back to work on your Steps. What is the next right thing for you to do?
Best to you.