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Old 07-25-2011, 10:59 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
eJoshua
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Originally Posted by CarolD View Post
I drank when I was alone and when I was not..I drank when my job was iffy and when it was secure...
and when it was iffy...I drank for fun and continued to drink after it depressed me.
This is a great point, and worth highlighting. Because the last few years of my life have been so down, I kind of forget that I used to drink for fun. It's important to remember though, because I too used any excuse to drink...

I got a promotion! Let's go get drunk.
I got fired! I need a drink.
I got a hot date! Let's go get plastered.
I got dumped! Where's the liquor at?



What a terrible way to live...

Anyways, to aidadeb, the last few years I was very lonely and used alcohol to help me deal with my loneliness (as well as for other reasons). Something that I read in my recovery program was a discussion question that my step group went back and forth on quite a bit:

"Do you think loneliness is a choice? Why or why not?"

Most of us decided that, although we can't always control the fact that we're alone, we can control how we react to it. So there is a difference between being alone (a fact) and being lonely (an emotion) Case in point: I'm introverted and often enjoy being by myself for long stretches of time. However, when I'm feeling down or depressed I often feel lonely, even if I'm in a room full of people I know.

I think it can be a choice. Although you may not be able to choose to be in a relationship right now (and this may not be the best time for that, anyways) you can choose to find support. Have you looked into AA or other recovery programs? They can be tremendous sources of support and friendship.

Either way, I would try to avoid putting yourself in the position of thinking that a relationship can help you quit drinking. I've tried to depend on other people for help with my emotional issues and addictive behaviours before and it just doesn't work. The beast always finds a way to come out regardless of my circumstances in life.

Best of luck to you. We're always here for support.
-Josh
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