Sometimes we reach our bottom long before the addict does. And it sounds like you are approaching yours.
Although I understand your comment regarding placing more value on his life than you do on your own, I hope you recognize that this is not healthy thinking for him or for you. I understand the thought process however because the addict in my life is my son. I understand the anguish, the pain so deep that it hurts your soul.
When I finally got to the point that it was a no brainer to admit that I had no control over the addict and that MY life had become unmanageable, I was ready to seek help. It's really hard to see my son struggle with his addiction. It's really hard on this mother's heart to know that he is homeless. But I think the best thing I ever did for HIM and for ME is to seek help for myself. My original intention when I went to Alanon (and now Naranon) was to find out how to get my son sober. But what I found was how I could better cope with his disease and stop my own destructive behaviors (I was doing things that were not only very bad for me but were very bad for my beloved son.)
I had been living in denial. A denial every bit as strong as my son's denial.
I have discovered that the best way I can help my son is to help myself FIRST. Just like on an airplane......they tell you that if those little masks fall down, put yours on first before assisting anyone else, we need to get help for ourselves. When we begin to get a healthier perspective, we are in a much better position to be helpful when and if they decide to get sober.
Take care of you.
gentle hugs
ke