Welcome, Gibson! You are in the right place. Everyone here is so supportive and full of good advice. Don't worry, it is not too late to turn things around. I like to think of my grandfather, who at 45 was in a high stress job as the CEO of a large chemical company overseas, and according to my grandmother drank 30 (!!!) cups of coffee throughout the day, then after work drank heavily and stayed up until the wee hours... so that it was an ordeal to get up in the morning, which was why the dozens of cups of coffee were needed... repeat for years until he had a massive heart attack and came within an inch of death. But he took that as a wake up call and today is a very healthy 76 year old, has survived cancer and back surgery like they never happened, volunteers, hosts our family holidays with 20+ people... I think, if he could turn his life around and get healthy, there is no reason that I can't! You can improve your life, don't give up!
I don't think it's silly that you are going to another city to do your shopping because it is dry - we have no alcohol sales on Sundays here and that is when I do my grocery shopping. The beer and wine aisle is dark and corded off and that's fine with me. You do what YOU need to do to recover - don't worry about if it's silly, weird, what people will think, etc. Your life is on the line and you are worth saving. You've got a great husband and two daughters that deserve their wife and mother back. Good luck and keep us posted.