MMkM

My therapist had told me not to isolate myself and that was one bit of advice I thought I was following with an occasional movie, restaurant meal, going on long walks.

I had only socialized with my dysfunctional family as I have written about here.

As the year anniversary approached of when we all basically stopped contact with each other I was getting very depressed.

This past weekend I did start out with some heavy gardening which helped but realized I needed more (but was already phrasing it how to get my home ready for my new friends/family of choice).

Heard about a party and went. Normally would have put it off or not gone because was depressed, had done yardwork, why bother, etc...

You do not dwell on your family of origin problems while socializing at all (make sure you don't bring up any of the ACA type topics though).

I even took people up on their offers for other suggestions and will follow up and reach them and do things they suggested - the typical "we should do this" type of thing that I always just say ya and then don't.

Then the next day went to a sports event and found out about other events that are similar and talked to a lot more people and got their names.

There are even meet up groups for different interests.

Definitely recommend this. It was hard to socialize when we had our Mom as an active alcholic. I ran family friends off by talking about it even would call them up and ask what to do about it. There is nothing they could have done and I could not either.

Also had made a friend who I just went on about dysfunctional family problems and they don't contact me as much.

Lesson learned: not healthy to discuss issues while non isolating and keeps people away.

Use a forum, meeting or even journal as only we understand what this is all about.