Thank you for your comments, really. This website is the only support I have right now. The people reading my posts are the only ones who know what I am going through. None of my family members or friends know. My own boyfriend doesn't even know. His brother is a recovering alcoholic, 6 months sober, so I know if I tell him the truth, he will leave me. I am a horrible person, how can I lie to the most amazing person i've met. He is the best thing that's happened to me, & i'm so scared that if I tell him I've been lying about my drug use for the past year, he'll lose all trust in me. I can't risk that..