i can't just take my little girl and leave - i would be considered a kidnapper by law, so this is not an option...
Did a lawyer tell you this? Because it's not true in any state that I'm aware of. Actually you are allowed to take your child anywhere you want. You have as much right to do this as your wife does. You are not required to leave your child with her. And possession it seems as though 9/10th of the law when it comes to filing custody paperwork - especially if you work with an attorney to ensure that everything is done legally. My boyfriend just took his child away from his drug addicted mother. He filed with CPS that she was neglecting him - the boy was late to school all the time because his hungover mother couldn't get her butt out of bed to take him to kindergarten in the morning. She also couldn't get her butt out of bed to show up for a custody hearing. It didn't sit well with my boyfriend OR the judge and now he has full custody of his child.
It was not kidnapping. It was not considered breaking the law. The courts saw it as responsible parenting.