Ok - Today stinks and so did yesterday. My husband just got official orders for deployment to Iraq. So....7 weeks and counting down. I now feel like my heart is being ripped from my soul. So very, very depressed right now. The only good part is that i'm still sober and haven't had a drink for almost a month. Sometimes when all of this war crap gets to be too much I think about how , even for a little bit, the booze would make me feel so much better and I can almost taste it again. At this point I don't think I could look at myself or go come back from the point of no return if i did it. So I don't . For some reason, I don't. Having to actually feel things now, my G.. it hurts.