Originally Posted by
SteppingItUp 
Hey Mustang,
I can relate completely to what you've described. I detoxed at home from a 24/7 addiction to smoking heroin, and it took much longer than I had anticipated to start feeling better. The withdrawals were terrible, and anxiety, lethargy and malaise were par for the course. From my experience, it seemed that part of the anxiety was physically related to coming off of the drugs; the rest I have come to believe is directly related to untreated addiction. That means that, beyond getting off the drugs, I have needed to treat the addiction to recover from the rest of the mess -- the fear, depression, resentment, always trying to change the way I felt through external means, not knowing how to live with or without drugs, etc.
Personally, I think it's all too tempting for an addict like me to want to treat classic drug addiction symptoms with more drugs, prescription or otherwise from the start. In active addiction, I thought there were a million things wrong with me from generalized anxiety to OCD, depression, chronic insomnia and more -- and I tried all different kinds of avenues to deal with the symptoms, but I had never treated the underlying cause behind it: the disease of addiction. To my great surprise (and perhaps great fortune), it turned out I was just an untreated addict/alcoholic. I hadn't gone without using/drinking in a dozen years, and I wanted to feel chemically free for the first time in my adult life. I decided to accept help through a program of recovery instead of stepping into more drugs. It has taken time, and (despite me disbelief through the beginning) work in recovery, but at this point I can't remember feeling this good since I was a kid. I'm not depressed, I'm not anxious, and I finally sleep like a baby. I've been clean/sober for over 2 years, and I'm going strong. It is amazing, and it feels like a miracle.
Getting clean is not the same as staying clean. You can make it the very last time you ever have to go through this. NA and AA have truly become my lifeline. Have you considered checking out some meetings in your area?
I'm proud of the progress you've been making. Keep moving in the right direction. It's not easy, but recovery is definitely worth it. I'm rooting for you.