((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
I sure know how you feel and I really admire your strength!! I wish I had your strength, I let my husband come back home because the pain was unbearable for me.
It is so hard because he is my best friend and the one I go to when hurt. So him leaving and drinking again, hurt so BAD, but HE is the one who did it!! So I felt pain with him and pain with out him.
I feel like I am not a whole person when he is not with me and he says he feels the same. I know this is not healthy and the reason I can't be strong.
I am now working on MYSELF, got a new job I have wanted for a long time, got a new car, and am working on being strong FOR ME. THEN I can work on US.