It seems to me that going to such lengths to justify xanax, e.g. by saying that it is the lesser evil when you would otherwise pre-drink, should give you pause as to what your motives are. When I was still in treatment I envisioned my sober life as me beign the deisgnated driver, being out with my friends in the old haunts, etc.
It didn't work out that way for me. I did lose touch with some of my friends with whom the primary glue of the relationship was drinking. I now have friends, some of whom drink, but want to spend time with me and are willing to forego drinking to do so. I don't have huge amounts of sober time (18 months on June 21st) but the whole xanax thing screams denial and trouble to me cheeky. If you don't have one, I would suggest you get someone with a lot of sobriety and start talking this out. Sobriety is really hard at first, having someone you can trust and be completely honest with is really helpful. Personally I found that person at an AA meeting but there are other options. Above all else, stick with it - it keeps getting better.