Originally Posted by
doorinthefloor 
How could I be more energetic and awake when I'm drinking - it's a depressant. Why does it feel like it was rather the opposite?
Also, my problem was drinking heavily in my house on a nightly basis. Now, I can go out with friends and drink but then don't keep anything in the house. Is it OK to drink in moderation, or rarely heavily, if you don't slip back into old habits?
Your alcoholic mind says 'feed me'. You get a rush and your mind is awaken from this rush...then the more you drink...the alochol kicks in and does the depression thing.
I loved the first few. Unfortunately, the first few always led to the last few. I didn't remember the middle few and ulitmately passed out, blacked out or just felt like crap.
I drank in my house, too. I'd rather drink 'enclosed' so no one knew how much I really drank. I didn't go out much.
When I'd slow down, I thought I could go out and have a few beers with dinner, or I even worked at a bar (big mistake)...that led to eventually buying a bottle and starting the cycle all over. I can never drink again. Period. Alone, with friends, out at dinner, etc...never. I know where that road leads me and I am not willing to take another chance that I will ruin what I have worked so hard for the past 4 months. I just can't take that chance.
The choice is really up to you and your situation. No one can make you not drink when you are with friends...but it has been my experience that it never turns out the way I want it to.