I know what i need to do and its give up drink to help the anxities for the long run. But its easier said then done as you all know, thats why im loking at what other options i have to still keep some sort of social life with my anxieties.
See stopping drinking wont cause me anxiety, coz i am not physically addicted. I go on heavy binges on the weekends when everyone is heading out. I dont drink during the weeks to medicate the anxiety, only if we were all heading out to town or a party, which is rare during the week.
I hope you didnt take it the worng way but i wouldnt be using xanax to get a buzz. Id purely be using it to allow me to sit there with people. I wouldnt even get a buzz from it coz i wouldnt take the amount required to get a buzz, no way. I have been thru my pescription pill binges a few years back and trust me i do not want to ever go there again.
I would only be able to sit around my really true few best mates and not drink coz my anxiety and specific phobia i can kinda deal with (even tho its still sky-high). But if i was going out to a group of mates who i would not be comfortable with, i simply wouldnt go out and if i did i would regret it cause the anxiety isnt worth sitting there trying to interact
Like if i wasnt to be drinking, i wouldnt go the pub or anything like that coz basically im setting myself up for failure. But if one of my friends was having a few people up in their house for drinks, i wouldnt go coz of the SA, specific phobia and intrusive thoughts. Where as if i took a xanax, id still be highly anxious but having it with me would allow me to say "yeah" to going there and try out not drinking.
The thing is i have been treating my social anxiety & specific phobia for YEARS now and i just cant seem to make any improvment with it. Thats why 1, i have given up drugs and 2, started to consider giving up the booze. But i do feel that if giving up drinking wont help the anxities i face everyday, i think to myself whats the point.
Thanks yous' for sharing your story with me, im just so confused on what to do. If i stop drinking the little social life i have will dissapear coz the anxieties will make me avoid. So it kinda like i need alternative options. And sober is an alternative but right now, sober will make my 'social life' go down the drain.
I have pushed myself to do so so so much to help my situation, but it seems like there is only one other way - sober - but at that, sober will make me miserable. Im not ready, and i dont know if i ever will be.
I dont want to think people are talking to a wall but i know thats the message im sending out. Im Lost!