SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - To: Kel, Moot, Mirachlen, 2dayz, MG, Jessie, Best, Running Free, Sweeks, and Meredith

Sad_Hazeleyes · 08-13-2004, 09:52 PM

(((((((All of you)))))))))))))

When I came home today from the hospital, I read my horrible post from Wednesday, and I could not believe that was me. I went to my first ftf alan-non meeting Tues., August 10th, and they were working on the 6th step, character flaws. I came home from the meeting feeling all different kinds of emotions: anger, sadness, hurt, pain etc. The people were very kind, welcoming, and supportive, but I think that the meeting set me off into a whirlwind of emotions, and unfortunately, I did not have enough coping skills and strength to handle them. The stories really hit home, and all of the emotions just took over. I cried and cried and cried with my husband until 3 in the morning. I remember even telling my husband that I did not want to live. Of course, with so many of my other depressions in the past, I had suicidal thoughts and never followed through on them, so he just did not see the warning signs. But this time, I could not bring myself out of it. :sink

I woke up the next day with the same deep emotions: lots of anger, sadness, and pain. I went from a so so day on Tuesday, to the worst day of my life. That is how quickly my moods changed. Please... everyone, if you ever see these signs earlier on... seek help IMMEDIATELY. Unfortunately, it hit me hard and fast this time, and I could not dig my way out on my own, but gratefully God had a bigger shovel, and a very special angel or angels (and you know who you are) really saved me from making the worst mistake of my life. Thank you, thank you, so very much for what you did for me when I could not help myself. I would love to know who my angel was that night, but I understand if you want to remain anonymous.

I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be able to thank all of the wonderful people who truly supported and showed me love and compassion that day. I don't know any of you, and yet you took the time to help a complete stranger. I believe God blesses people who give selflessly to others in need. I am truly grateful.

God Bless,

Hazeleyes (I am going to work on the sad every day, until I can become sparkling hazeleyes again some day.)

P.S.

Runningfree... If you are still having a rough time and need to talk, please send me a private message. I don't want you to go through what I went through. Stay safe, and God bless.

08-13-2004, 09:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sad_Hazeleyes sparkling hazeleyes Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alexandria VA Posts: 81	Kel, Moot, Mirachlen, 2dayz, MG, Jessie, Best, Running, Anna, Sweeks, and Meredith (((((((All of you))))))))))))) When I came home today from the hospital, I read my horrible post from Wednesday, and I could not believe that was me. I went to my first ftf alan-non meeting Tues., August 10th, and they were working on the 6th step, character flaws. I came home from the meeting feeling all different kinds of emotions: anger, sadness, hurt, pain etc. The people were very kind, welcoming, and supportive, but I think that the meeting set me off into a whirlwind of emotions, and unfortunately, I did not have enough coping skills and strength to handle them. The stories really hit home, and all of the emotions just took over. I cried and cried and cried with my husband until 3 in the morning. I remember even telling my husband that I did not want to live. Of course, with so many of my other depressions in the past, I had suicidal thoughts and never followed through on them, so he just did not see the warning signs. But this time, I could not bring myself out of it. :sink I woke up the next day with the same deep emotions: lots of anger, sadness, and pain. I went from a so so day on Tuesday, to the worst day of my life. That is how quickly my moods changed. Please... everyone, if you ever see these signs earlier on... seek help IMMEDIATELY. Unfortunately, it hit me hard and fast this time, and I could not dig my way out on my own, but gratefully God had a bigger shovel, and a very special angel or angels (and you know who you are) really saved me from making the worst mistake of my life. Thank you, thank you, so very much for what you did for me when I could not help myself. I would love to know who my angel was that night, but I understand if you want to remain anonymous. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be able to thank all of the wonderful people who truly supported and showed me love and compassion that day. I don't know any of you, and yet you took the time to help a complete stranger. I believe God blesses people who give selflessly to others in need. I am truly grateful. God Bless, Hazeleyes (I am going to work on the sad every day, until I can become sparkling hazeleyes again some day.) P.S. Runningfree... If you are still having a rough time and need to talk, please send me a private message. I don't want you to go through what I went through. Stay safe, and God bless.