Old 05-25-2011, 09:26 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
SSIL75
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
I have been sober for 9 months. I don't believe in a higher power as it relates to recovery. Nor do I believe in powerlessness (for me) . Once I 100% accepted that there was no moderation for me then not drinking the first drink was much easier to deal with. It became as simple as choosing sober life over drunk life. (simple =/= easy )

I also had to come to realize that sober life would be awesome. That was a HUGE hurdle for me. Giving up drinking seemed like surrendering to a dull, 'dry' (humorless) life. So it was lose lose. Continue to drink and be miserable. Or quit drinking and be miserable.

Gaining hope that sober life would be enjoyable was a game changer.

I've posted before that when I started reading here someone (Carol, I think) posted about how she had years of wonderful celebrations with her AA friends. Parties, holidays etc. I wanted to cry at how lame it sounded. I remember thinking "that is not the life I want. Dancing around sober drinking iced tea". I think I didn't come back here for months after that.

And now that all just seems so stupid. It's a real testament to my alcoholic thinking that I thought that the presence/absence of alcohol was SUCH a game changer. My sober reality now is totally different. I don't drink anymore (obviously) but most people just don't drink that much. At 99% of my social events... 99% of people are mostly sober (1, maybe 2 drinks. Maybe none). The other 1%... well they are just depressing. I can't believe I ever craved being that out of control. I can't believe my children saw me like that. Breaks my heart, still.

Good luck on your journey
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