Old 03-31-2011, 07:50 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Marlie
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 89
My daughter was 19 when she entered a sober living house. I found out later that there was nothing 'sober' about it. She followed all the rules, got a job within two weeks, found a sponsor and attended meetings. She used marijuana while she was there, and although she was never tested, she had a bottle of synthetic urine and a warmer ready just in case. She tells of story of one housemate who had meth hidden in his computer and another who came to a meeting drunk.

Interestingly, though, it was this sober house that scared her straight. We used to talk about what she saw there and see how a life-time of drug use ruins a life. Her roommate was in her late 30s, a crack addict, who had no job, house, friends, and was an emotional mess. When we talked, I would compare this poor 30 something girl to my daughter's sisters and friends of a similar age. Drug-free 30 year olds, had degrees, children, jobs, houses, wonderful lives, and a promising future. It was this dichotomy that scared my daugher straight. My daughter was in a non-sober living house, and I would have never thought a situation like this would be beneficial.

Don't think that the transistion from using to non-using will be easy or quick. There were lots of bumps along the way and I am not naive in thinking that my daughter will always be clean and sober. I used to judge her progress if I saw progress. I would take comfort in the fact that she was better than she had been in the past and was taking positive steps toward a clean and sober life. Someone told me that relapse is part of recovery, and in her case that was definitely true. Each time my daughter relapsed she used less that previous times. I was told that the addict remembers how it felt good to be sober and when they use want the feeling associated with sobriety back.

Good luck. I know how difficult this is for you and your family.
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