bevin

Yeahhhh...me too. I've had people point it out to me actually. Sometimes I'll be walking down the street feeling perfectly all right and I'll catch a glimpse of my reflection - it looks like I'm walking around with a cartoon thundercloud above my head. I really can't figure out why my face is such an inaccurate reflection of what I'm feeling. No, I've never tried practicing in the mirror - mainly because I know I'm a sh*tty actress, but I will give it a go.

That is HILARIOUS. I absolutely never leave the house without a piece of bubblegum. It's true that it gives your face something to do!

Well, until recently I never left the house without gum and...sunglasses. But then I started to feel like I was walking funny. Eventually I decided that I'd better just learn to take the sunglasses off once in a while.

I...don't think I'm there quite yet (being able to chit chat I mean). The anxiety has decreased quite a lot since I stopped drinking every day, but it's still early days.

I agree wholeheartedly - and I'm moving soon so I'll have to get a new Dr anyway.

There's not much of that around here - the few that are available have waiting lists that are at least 3 months long. I did manage to get in to see someone from addiction services though. She got me in faster because I'm moving.

I've also been to a couple of therapists that weren't much help. The problem is that most of them believed that I hated myself or my life or that I needed to talk about my past traumas. None of that did any good because this panic thing is really just like a knee jerk reaction for me. My current therapist actually listens to me when I tell her this, which is nice. I also discovered Claire Weekes, who wrote a couple of books on nervous conditions. She really takes a different approach to the subject - she doesn't recommend trying to talk yourself out of it or fighting it, because that just causes more panic. You have to acknowledge that you're ill and that it'll take time and practice to get better. It is extremely difficult to allow yourself to let go of frustration...but it's also extremely necessary. I'm workin' on it.

Ditto. I've come to the conclusion that a lot of Drs just chuck random stuff at your brain and hope it works.

Thumbs up with the college thing! You can do it - I didn't think I could do it either, but I made it through all right.
Are you worried about becoming dependent or addicted? With my own situation, I was never worried about becoming physically or psychologically addicted to the stuff. I keep my dose down because I don't like taking it. It's a pain in the ass to be that tired during the day when you have sh*t to do. I do rely on it for a sense of safety though, which could be considered dependence. I'm hoping that will change after a couple months of not drinking...