I know some of what your talking about BF, I've been with my husband 15 years and the only time we half way get along is when we're on drugs! I am so ******* sick of argueing EVERY day about whos right and whos wrong, who sould do this or that or who should change! I don't have any advice but to say you are not alone!! I want to get help for myself and my family but he doesn't think anyone needs help but me. Now that we're trying to stay clean, the fights are worse! Luckily he doesn't hit me except in self defence, . Unfortunitly I'm the abuser in that fashion. If he pisses me off and pushes me too far I'm likely to beat the **** out off him. I havent hit him in awhile so I think I'm getting better in that aspect. Cognitave therapy in rehab helped me with that. He's more of and emotional abuser. But anyway, good luck! I wish you the best!