I didn't see the post originally or I would have responded. My bf is also in a year long program and was breaking rules to talk to me (uh oh). I can tell you that it would have felt AWFUL if he was kicked out of the program because he broke rules.
Well, he has gone completely silent and it devastated me at first but in talking to people who have been in rehab, SR and my therapist, I see why he had to do this. He probably came pretty close to getting in trouble with his program for his behavior. It doesn't make the pain any less but if you love him (and I'm sure you do) you will want him to take full advantage of the opportunity he has to put his life together.
You do feel like you are shut out and in limbo. My biggest hurdle is how it sounds counter intuitive to me: go to rehab to learn skills to be honest and present for loved ones but shut out some of the very loved ones in the process. I was also told that not every gf or bf of someone in recovery is a healthy influence, they may also have addiction issues so those relationships definitely can jeopardize someone's recovery.
I see it from their perspective clearly.. but yeah, it feels cruddy. I'm surprised they won't let you write letters at least. You can call them and find out the rules for correspondence.