Originally Posted by
bevin 
I've been pushing myself to go out for walks at night (the dark feels safer) and last night I had a bit of a breakthrough. Usually when I see someone walking down the street towards me a big 'wall' comes down over my energy and I feel like my body is going to freeze. I have to use all sorts of tricks to distract myself from that feeling, like naming the colours of objects, imagining that the air is water, etc. Last night I was able to walk by several people without feeling that wall come down - and it was like a bloody miracle to me. I was able to feel happy about that!
Yeah, I feel better about everything at night... I like walking in the early morning, like when no ones out, after i have been up all night. But staying up all night is bad when you have to be places during the day. I had an episode of exhaustion today, my heart was racing, my body was screaming for sleep and then I started throwing up. i was at work with 4 kids of top of it... then I came home and took a 5 hours nap, the cycle starts again.
I'm really glad you were about to be happy about walking and not feeling "the wall"- keep doing it! See, maybe you didn't overthink what to expect? Just keep trying, it sounds like your doing GRRREAT!!!