I am 55. I left my mother when I was 17 and she was a raging alcoholic. I moved across the country to get away from her. Lots of bad things happened to me along the way. I wasn't well and didn't ever seek help. So, long about the time I am 42, I start thinking it would be all hunky dorey to see my mom, make up and live happily ever after.
I found she didn't drink any more. Good. But the behavior remained. The chronic paranoia, always finding something to complain about, making up "sicknesses".
The insanity started all over.
I went through alanon. I got better. I can deal with a lot more now than I could even a year ago.
So, do I have a happy ending? Sort of. She is 2 hours away.
I talk to her daily. I do my best not to allow her to get under my skin most of the time.
I respect her as my mother.
But, honestly, I believe the time I spent away was absolutely necessary. I would have wound up in an insane asylum for life had I not gotten away.
We all have to do what we have to do.
Ginger, I love her posts, always has the best advice. It's really about learning how not to allow them to affect us.
I keep trying. When I feel I can't do it alone, I jump right on to soberrecovery and get help.