Relationship Behavior Sober Alcoholic
I hope someone can shed some light for me. I have been dating an alcoholic with 19 years of sobriety for seven months now. He has been the most amazing man I've ever known and I've felt so secure in our relationship. A few weeks ago we had our first argument which took me by surprise. I had never seen him so upset for what seemed like an innocent mistake on my part. We got past this and he seemed very remorseful for his behavior. I have noticed that he has control issues and likes to be in charge. We are both strong willed.
Three weeks ago we had our second argument. This time he wasn't remorseful and felt like I had over reacted. He kept pushing me and pushing me on what I was going to do finacially and with my home and I finally pushed back and got upset. It was a tough two days but we seemed to resolve everything. He always hangs up on me or walks out when this happens and goes to bed angry leaving me devastated.
This weekend we had our third and possibly final argument over the smallest thing. I didn't hear my phone ring and didn't answer for ten minutes so he got mad and went home instead of coming over. I have to add that he is in severe pain right now with a nerve injury. He was in pain trying to ask me if it was ok to come over now and I truly did not hear the phone ringing becuase I was actually cooking for him at the time. When I answered, he was upset and said some harsh things (which he doesn't remember) and then hung up on me. He went home without coming over and I waited an hour and called to ask why he was so mad. This upset him more and he said hurtful things and hung up again three times. He did call later that night and said he was in pain and it was ok but his tone wasn't remorseful and I said it was ok but I was tired of being hung up on.
He yelled and said he was through and hung up again. The next morning I called him and again he started with the story of how wrong I had been and how I was always turning things around on him. I honestly didn't think I did, or don't see it that way. His story was so confused from what happened. I did get very angry after being hung up on since last night and trying to explain with him interupting me and I admit I yelled. I was wrong.
He hung up and sent me a breakup text. We continued throughout the day talking, texting, and meeting once. Big mistake. All I know is I was supposedly the girl of his dreams and perfect up until Friday. By Saturday I was dumped by a text and told we were through and I was too strong willed and always blamed him and he couldn't risk his sobriety with someone who wanted to argue. I don't want to argue. It seems that it is him that gets mad and hangs up and then says he wasn't mad and blames me. I am devastated. I truly thought we would die old together. He had promised me he would never leave.
I've never had a relationshp end this way. I never had someone hang up on me repeatedly when they are mad or breakup over something as trivial as not answering a phone quick enough. He has never acted this way until recently. He is stressed and in pain. Is this behavior of an alcoholic mind or just HIS behavior. I am at a loss. I have no clue what to do but just not contact him. I'm worried over his sobriety and his pain. I love this man with all my heart. Any insight would be appreciated. If I threaten his sobriety then I must stay away but I feel like I have lost my greatest heaven sent gift.