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Well,MG I'm not sure myself as I am also trying to still figure out things, but I do have an opinion so I'll share that. lol
My thoughts:
Everyone in the family has their roles. Now this is going back to growing up, because our behaviors don't just start as adults. In the family there's always the one that seems to look after everyone else's needs without ever truely taking care of their own. Always seeing to the other's comfort; making sure that life is running smoothly with in the home or family unit. Usually forgetting that they have some needs of their own, but feeling that the other's are of more importance in return gives the person an important role within that family unit, "the caretaker". In it's meaning-- the one to take care of everything. If that person didn't do so and allowed the other's to actually take care of their own problems and workout their own place in life, then what place would the caretaker have then? what would make him/her important to other's then? What value would they have? Someone who is so deep into this behavior would now believe that they have absolutely no value to their family or life, essentially "out of a job" as it were.
Caretakers have put their whole idea of self-worth into this position/role in life, mostly because they feel that they have no other improtance and to take that away would be traumatic. Because they are the ones to take care of things, it has to be done by them and no one else if for themselves.
People with very low self-esteem have a tremendously hard time accepting compliments. I can only speak for myself in that most of the time I feel that the person who is giving the compliment is just trying to be nice/polite. I have a hard time feeling that it is a genuin truth from that person especially if it's someone I don't know very well. I feel like how do they know anything about me so why would they say that------" just to be nice" is my feeling.
As you can see that is my biggest problem that I battle with.
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You all have a really great weekend!!
Pony
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