Amerce72

I did a web search for 'severing ties with abusive parents' and it directed me here, which is great since the person I'm thinking of severing ties with also happens to be an alcoholic. What a coincidence. I'm so happy to have found this site. Finally, some people who can relate!!

I decided to start a new thread since the one I was reading was from 2006.

So, I suppose my question is: How many of you have severed ties? How long ago was it, and how do you feel now that you've done it?

My father and I have never been close. I've considered severing ties for a long time. I think our past phone conversation was the straw that broke the camel's back. There was nothing particularly terrible about it, as nearly every conversation we have is terrible to begin with. I am getting NOTHING from this relationship, other than stress, sadness and low self-esteem.
The thing is, every time I've thought of him since that conversation, I've almost gone to call him or something, then I remembered that I think that may have been the last time we'll talk... And I can't explain it very well, but it's been very peaceful...even the idea of possibly not having to go through that again. He's basically dead to me, and he has been most of my life.

Like a lot of the posts are saying...we don't take this abuse from other people...so why do we allow it to happen from our parents?


My father has been an alcoholic my entire life. He used to constantly physically abuse my mother, until she finally died and was no longer there for him to abuse. He was warned over 10 years ago that, if he continued drinking, he would die within a short period of time. Didn't make a difference. He's living on borrowed time, and he knows it. He is wasted almost daily, and is even MORE abusive when he has been drinking. (Though he's still miserable and awful when sober.)
I think my biggest fear is having guilt from not talking to him anymore. He is old and will die soon, and I don't know how bad I'll feel later if his life ends while we're on non-speaking terms. Of course, hearing about how I 'obviously don't love him' because I 'moved away and put myself first' doesn't help me feel very good, either. He HATES women, and is the most miserable person on earth. Why would I stick around? We never had a normal, healthy father/daughter relationship. When I try to make that point, he screams at me about something-or-other. He's insane. IN-SANE!


Would love to hear back from some of you. I'm brand new here.

Thanks!!