LTD's post is so simple.
It is really resonating with me.
That's why my AH is complaining. He feels controlled! Well, of course he does. I am trying to control him.
100% that is clear and no bueno.
I can see where some of you are coming from, but I think I need to stop that.
I think I need to accept he is who he is (how long have I been saying that...but these things do take time!) and respect his choice to be himself.
"Step away from the addict" - isn't that what they say?
Then there is just my circle of influence left. What am I going to do or change in me to get my needs met?
I think I am getting there!
All the other things I want to happen don't appear to be happening. Wanting them to happen doesn't influence them happening at all! LOL!
This feels right. Not controlling is the respectful way to treat him, regardless of the choices he makes.
That expresses my love for me and him.
And the natural next step to be done here.
Wow.