Honestly, I think if you have to coerce someone into being who you want them to be, then you're probably better off without them.
Think about it. Even if he did (grudgingly) agree to your demands, he would always resent you for it. And it would probably be held over your head whenever you didn't live up to his expectations.
Is that the kind of marriage you want?
A boundary doesn't demand change. A boundary allows each person to do and be who they are, and make the personal decision of whether the relationship is working or not. A boundary means you stay if you can accept him the way he is. It also means walking away if you can't. It doesn't mean either of you must bend to the others will.
L