Drawing the line for a friend. This hurts.
My best friend (who stopped drinking over 10 years ago) is in a relationship with a WONDERFUL guy for 5 years, except he is an alcoholic. I am the only one she confides in and its beginning to way heavily on me. I am the person she calls FIRST when he didn't come home or she can't find him. They are just a lovely couple together with this one exception, and its a big one.
He is a binge drinker. He holds down a good job but has triggers (usually family phone calls or social events) where he will leave an event, or just not come home because he started drinking. He becomes verbally abusive to her as well. Saying some horrible things to her. He can go a month without one incident then something will happen and he will drink. Most of the time he just passes out somewhere and either the police will bring him home or he wakes up and manages to get home. He does not drive, thank goodness.
I have not seen him ever in this condition but she has held the phone up and even recorded him when he is in one of his 'states.' Then a day or two later everything is swept under the carpet and she acts like everything is going to be just fine. She will say, "he is doing so much better and said he feels awful and will never drink again." But we both know that is never the case and it will happen again and again and again. They have resources/friends that are high profile in the music industry who are willing to help but they never take that next step. NEVER!
Personally, I believe she is addicted to this herself, although I have never understood that concept it MUST be true. I really do not know what to do but I cannot continue to be the sound board. My husband and I are about to go through IVF treatment and I HAVE to be in a good place emotionally to go through what we are about to endure.
I have one ace up my sleeve that I want to ask if this is appropriate: Her mother, who loves her like I have never seen, and loves him as well, is not aware of this issue in their relationship. I want to know if I can 'threaten' her with telling her mother if they do not seek help. What are your thoughts and thank you in advance from the bottom of my heart.