I usually post to Family of Alcoholics, which in turn brings me here. My kids are 4,3,3. With what I am dealing with I feel like I may break. I take Lexapro which I think is a joke, I also take xanex to sleep. I don't take them during the day cause they make me tired and then I am more irratable. I kn ow I am supposed to let the past go but when I was six month pg my dh got a one night stand pg and we pay out $1200 a month. Right now he is about seven months behind and they are trying to throw him in jail. If they do that then we lose the house cause they will put him in for a six months to a year. The other woman doesn't have a care in the world and is financially secure, she just wants revenge. Anyhow, I am dealing with my husband drinking and now recovering for the millionth time. We are so past due on our bills it's absurd. We will soon catch up but it seems to fall on my shoulders and I find myself flippin out. I love my kids and get so nervous if I do get away from them. I am pretty much ok until my husband gets home and then it's like "lets make mommy a nervous wreck". I have to cook, clean, bath, help everyone with whatever that is. He tries to help but it feels like he just gets in my way....Confension time and no one knows but one other person.....I tried Percs for about a month and had so much energy and felt happy. IT also made me have intestinal probs so I quit. Plus I ran out. I don't want to be addicted to drugs to deal with my family. I wonder if the lexapro and xanex has changed my body chemistry so much that I can't function. I don't know what to do. I am starting to feel like I am failing at my job of being a mother because I yell at them often and they are only babies. Is it normal cause maybe 4,3,3 year olds test thier mothers? Did all of you get stressed out at this age? Do you suggest getting out more than one day or night a week? Would they listen a bit better if I put them in a daycare program. I stay at home and have since their births. No wonder I am insane huh? Just some advice and support. Sorry so long. I have cabin fever and need to go take a break today, haven't been out of the house during the day in forever. No money. Thanks for reading this junk.
