recommend the book "women who love to much". imho you are recreating your childhood in adulthood and ultimately, comfortable with the drama. understand that you cannot change him. period. i have been on both sides of the fence, and learned the hard way. change always and only comes from within the addicted person. no amount of love, bargaining, threatening, cajoling wll ever make it any other way. If what you really want is a "healthy" life & relationships,Let go of the idea that you want to be with a "sober" him, and walk away, don't look back and work on your issues of codependency... it is almost as hard for a codependent to walk away from that type of relationship as it is for an addict to quit! so recognize it won't be easy, but it's probably for the best. By staying you are reaffirming to yourself, to him, and to the pwers that be that you are okay with the back and frth. I mean, it's been 6 years of drama, why would it suddenly become peaceful now? *this is just my opinion, nothing more....*