Welcome to SR,
Glad you found us, but sorry that you had to. My husband was the addict, I say was because we are no longer together, divorced. I think you are far from being addict to him and the drama, so don't even give that a thought. You are in love with him and have been caught up in the drama and chaos that comes with being with an addict. As most of us that have been here for sometime know my experience and with the knowledge of learning about addiction, adddiction is a progressive desease, so what you are witnessing now is his progression. I think what you are really wanting to know is if you threaten to leave him or leave will he stop this maddness. It is a really hard question for us to answer, as all addicts seems to have the same behavour, they do have different reactions. But I do think on a scale the rate is pretty high that they do not give it up because we leave. There love for the drug gets more and more the more they progress. In fact us leaving is almost a blessing for them, gets us out of the way so they can do as they want without any conflict coming from us.
We had two sons together and not even loosing them made him stop. I know this is not something you really want to here, but having a loved one with an addiction is going to be one of the hardest things in life you are ever going to have to deal with.
Rose