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Hi Oziniik
My name is Rowan and I'm an alcoholic. I've also suffered from depression for years. Yes I can identify with the sabotage. I never felt I was worth the good things that were happening to me; so I made sure I went out and used or did something equally destructive. It has taken nearly 3 years in AA, medication, and regular sessions with an addictions counsellor to begin to recognize the pattern and stop it before it spirals out of control.
Are you in recovery right now? I urge you to talk to someone about your feelings and behaviour; I'm no doctor I can only share my own experience.
I believe every human being has worth and should be treated as such. That includes ourselves; we are worthy.
I wish you well.
Love Rowan
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