You are addicted to the addict and the drama! All I know is that he wont change for you! He is well aware that you deserve better and he is not fighting for you. Even if it is not him and just the addiction, he is currently an active addict who is not available for you. I too, was unable to leave....but circumstances out of my control decided for me!!! I have no choice now but to get on with my life!! Every day gets better and better and I cant believe that I ever wanted to be in such a roller coaster ride of a life. It was not worth it!!!! I hope you dont do what most of us have done only for it to turn out the same way for all of us!! Devastating!!!!