I think all alcoholics blame others for their problems.
What helped me was detachment and really really taking each incident/issue/person/feeling and paying attention to whose problem it was. This did not come naturally to me and when I began to look at others, I marvelled at their ability to make those decisions so quickly. I was quite amazed to discover that most of the things I aganoized over weren't really even my problems. It was much easier to let them go when I recognized they weren't mine.
I spent so much time trying to control my environment (my world) that the thing I really had control over (my life and actions) was spinning like a tornado. Small steps to control that tornado gave me lots of momentum to continue to focus on what was mine, and what was not.
I still have to be fairly methodical about figuring it out but it is much easier to believe my own determination. I don't second guess myself half as much and I go through the steps of figuring it out sooner, rather then later.