Thanks glitter!
I have been reading the 12 steps. I don't think it's insanity yet as I have never tried this. My only other attempt failed misserably and I had another major issue going on I was not aware of, Cymbalta withdrwls...
My taper or should say drastic reduction is going well. Still at a third and no mental crash like before when I stopped cold turkey. But I am not sure that mental crash was Oxy as I had stoped taking Cymbalta maybe a week or so before. The mental crash is what has had me so scared to even try again. But it is going well and if this is all the back pain I end up with it will be doable on that end as well.
Looking for a meeting nearby. Not scared to go. God has been in my life since I was brought up with religion. No secrets in my family. So I think I have what it takes. Except a doctor... still hard to beleive that one... I would try calling him again or make an appoinmtnet but like I said he now acts like an attorney...