Hey there & WELCOME to SR
I'm Irish also so Conas ata tu a chara
For me i fought the fact that i was an alcoholic, i had the impression that an alcoholic was a person who drank out of bags in the park, grubby & homeless......that wasnt me..not yet!!!!
When drinking was costing me more than money, & it was controlling my way of life, my reactions , my capacity to live i had to accept that there was somthing wrong!!!!!
Eventually after years of trying controlled drinking & abstening for a few nights i hit my rock bottom, my life was no longer mine to control!!!!
I believe if you are questioning ure consumption, look at the unmanageabilty of ure life. For me now being an alcoholic in recovery means the only thing i cant do is drink, everything else in life is there for me!
I would suggest reading some literature and attending an open meeting to see if you can identify, because never forget,........................YOURE NEVER ALONE, we are millions!!!
I wish you the best for your path in life & drop into chat some time