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Originally Posted by David 1 Angel, I am a Human Resources Director and frequently deal with stressful personnel issues. The one thing I learned is to not make a rash, emotionally charged decision, especially an important one.
Talk it out with friends and family and perhaps give your fiance a final chance to get help and remain sober. Then make a decision and do what's best for everyone.
I was like your fiance and believe me, you are doing him no favors by staying with him in an unhappy situation. It easily could go from bad to worse - that is also the nature of our disease if we do not get help.
You have a lot going for you - just make sure you do the right thing for your family.
Take care
Dave |
Hi David:
I worked in Human Resources for almost 8 years mainly in the IT industry, but also in Piping/Structural Design-Engineering & Financial.
I found out all of my Fiance's nasty habits too late, after he moved in with me I became pregnant that weekend. He and I were a long distance relationship, before he moved here to Colorado.
I do feel that I have tried/attempted and clarified the situation countless times.....Ever since I found out how he is. I've tried to support him through his alcoholism, I know, I'm an Enabler and I should be, but he doesn't seem to have the will power to over come it, even with my help. He depends on it alot. He went through a nasty three year divorce and his Ex wife took him to the cleaners, anyway, to make a long story short, his Mother told me that he began drinking shortly after he and his exwife split up. It is a very sad story and yes I admit, I do feel guilty. I've been very easy on him, because of this, however, I have also been stern about my feelings on his drinking and I've cried many tears, that he is well aware of, but when somebody is so reliant upon drinking, it doesn't matter what you say or do for them, they aren't full coherent and they are in another universe.
I do pray and I read alot of uplifting and spiritual writings, however, they don't take away the fact of the situation that I got myself into. I'm stuck...If I leave him now, that will be ruining his future. He needs me right now. He isn't financially able to live on his own and I fear he may do somthing stupid....The company we built together as of last July is finally booming and now would be so detramental to part.....I'm so torn......and it may sound like I want to give up, because at times I do, but I really do wish that we could work things out, I just don't know if I can take the pressure for very much longer....but my goal is to try for next April 2005.
Thanks so much for your note, you are also an angel.
Hugs,
AngelRachelle