[ItsmeAlice]

I was much like you are now when I first separated from my XABF. I went to about a month after our split and was very focused on who around me was drinking alcohol, who appeared intoxicated, who looked like they were clinging to their drink as if it were their lifeline, etc. I was hypersensitive to addictive behaviors when I met new people and picked up on every mention people made to drinking or partying or wreckless behavior.

In time that sensitivity mellowed as I focused on making my own choices and letting others have theirs. I concerned myself less and less with the consequences of what others were doing since those consequences didn't belong to me.

I also found over time that when I really put the focus on my recovery and making myself healthy from an emotional, physical, and spiritual standpoint, my interest in unhealthy men as potential mates has also waned. I've been around a few now that just turned me off completely. These are guys that I would have taken to at the outset before, and I have wondered why they irritate me now.

When I give it thought I can pinpoint certain behaviors and langugage that are addict qualities.

I have since found out that each of them have addictions or abuse issues. I may not have known why they were unhealthy, at the time I met them, but something in me clued into it.

I hope to start dating in the future as you do. I am working towards being healthy inside and out so I will attract the same when the time comes.

Good luck to you!

Alice