Originally Posted by
spryte 
I think drinking and me being me is like gasoline and a match. I can't run the show, and drinking (or any drug for that matter) exacerbates that wrong-headed approach to life. I can't put out this fire on my own, because I am the fire. And I'm doing no good in the world. Something else needs to put it out.
((Spryte)), your realizations are true examples of victory over the inherent angers, arrogances, ignorances, and selfishness of alcoholism. And your growing gratitude for knowing the resolutions required must come from beyond ourselves is inspiring for so many, I'm sure. It's being fulfilled with the experiences of surrendering to a greater good and force than ourselves which are the keys to the very freedom of being ourselves that we all searched for while drinking. You know, if sobriety didn't give me more than alcoholism offered, I would have never ever sobered up. What would be the point? I was too far gone to become sober and suffer the rest of my days. The suffering had to end one way or the other, you know. The wreckless freedoms being drunk gave me if even they were false dreams, they were at least to me living such a galactically stupidly false existence, real enough while drunk. "Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven" -[John Milton] was my hateful philosophy on my being drunk in my drinking days.
Hey, you're not just re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic in your awesome struggles with unmanageability. Stay with it!
warmly,
Robby