unmanageable
I first came to an AA meeting at the age of 13. My dad was drinking a lot and I was upset by it. I just wanted to go. I was secretly hoping HE would go to the AA meetings, because I started going to them. I didn't really drink, that I can recall until the age of 14.
It didn't take me long to drink excessively and I experienced black outs early on and that scared me. I attended alateen, sometimes alanon and AA from a young age and am very grateful for the program and that it is free. Attending therapy and seeing psychiatrists wasn't enough for me. It seems like nothing was never enough. I was so needy. AA meetings were like "group" help and back in the state where I was growing up, AA meetings were available 24 hours a day. Those times when you just need to hear other people talk.. when you are feeling like absolute crap... you know, completely unmanageable? Yeah. Definitely I felt my life was unmanageable and abusing alcohol and prescription pills was just a symptom.