Originally Posted by
spryte 
I don't like the phrase, but I'll use it to get my point across - I'm probably a high-bottom alcoholic.
I'm still plodding along. I'm miserable. To sum it up, as someone commented a little while ago - I'm just existing.
But there are no major calamities. I have a job.
Drinking is taking up more and more of my non-job time, leaving little time for friends, family, hobbies, basic stuff like cooking and cleaning.
Occasionally, there are some dramatic incidents, but I've learned enough to avoid them by not leaving home and drinking. When I go out and drink, bad things happen. So, I don't go out. So, I've got that reasonably under control
My life isn't perfect, but I don't know if it's unmanageable?
What is meant by unmanageable?
Its right there in your own words.
Just existing isn't a good description of living.
Notice you make the distinction of just existing, you don't call it "just living".
Unmanageable means your life is not under your control, its under the control of alcohol. More apt, its under the control of your alcoholism.
So its not under your control as you stated, thats the self deception.
Many years ago, in one of my first AA meetings a guy quipped "its almost as if you can't trust your own mind". We were new guys and only vaguely aware how true his words were. But his words were so true.