Hi guys if you've got time to read this then your throughts would be appreciated...
Basically I want to just throw this open to any input available because I've run out of places to turn. Im 25 and have been binge drinking from about the age of 15, typical weekend stuff fri/night smash up then abstienance (sp?) for most of the working week, for my university years this might have been more like thu/sun but the dynamic stayed the same mostly.
Ive experienced hangovers, bad bad bad ones and i also realise that hangovers tend to get worse with age and start to include not only that ****** headache and nausea but the "booze blues" aka few days of depression that can follow a heavy weekend, this stuff to me isnt what freaks me out as its experienced by most of my friends, who due to being Scottish are all frequent binge drinkers to
. The thing ive been struggling with since about 2006-ish is the lack of recall im now faced with everytime I drink more or less, I cant see any difference in the amount i consume now but i get to a point where its just *blank* and then i wake up in bed usually fully clothed with my shoes still on. Im worried now because being a fairly all or nothing character ive many times vowed to quit which im sure is a frequent theme among many posters here, something usually brings me back like the promise of "tonight ill make sure this doesnt happen" and sometimes i manage it but most times i fail. Nothing bad ever happens (im told by my friends) they do however say i go into a zombie like state of just no coherence and fall asleep after sometime. Im not really sure what to do anymore, I dont feel it to be alcoholism by any definition, but its not good and i worry about the damage im doing to my brain as well as my body, every time i try to stop i usually cave eventually... all I know no is im sick and tired and cant go on this way anymore. If im hammered Saturday, i usually wake up Sunday feeling awul, and the Sunday night into Monday morning I wake up in sweats, the **** feeling is now carried into Tuesday afternoon and even wednesday. Im sorry for posting what to many people seems maybe like an obvious problem but im just confussed and scared now and any input from any of you would be great.
If you read all of that cheers