[lulu1974]

Hi everyone..I go to Alanon meetings but this is my first time here...My husband and I are separated since Sept.,he has been trying to reconcile with me for months and I was not really nice about it and really thought I wanted out..But I was really angry about the lies, the fraud, the 2 rehabs..I dont know. I thought it was a good thing to ask him to leave after he started drinking again..he went to rehab after I asked him to move out but I wanted to wait to make sure he would stay sober so he lived with family..fast forward..in the last month.he got his own apartment, wants nothing to do with me, says he is filing divorce and when I tried to see him he literally ran away from me. I am beyond hurt and speechless. But then I tell myself..this is the unreasonable behavior I have always seen. I am Catholic and dont want to get divorced but I got all weak in the last month and I was mad at myself for that. And what is even worse is..even though I stopped enabling him..he is now close with a family member that has taken over my role and doesnt believe in AA..he thinks he should just keep busy and get divorced and he will be better. I know he is still drinking and tries to quit all the time ..but suddenly..I got the ax after 10 years. We have been married for 3 years..I guess I shouldnt be surprised. I wish his family would stay out of our marriage and I asked them too..We will be fighting and he goes to his cousin's house and makes him answer the phone. I felt like an idiot cause then it makes me look foolish but I guess I deserve it for taking the bait. I asked the family member to stay out of our marriage nicely but he says my A asked him for help so he will help him..I dont understand any of this. I have a therapist and go to alanon..I am trying to work on myself..afraid of the doorbell in case I am being served divorce papers but I just wanted to vent. My hubby is a functional A so wasnt till I lived with him that I realized the extent of his drinking. Meanwhile I felt like I was going insane..He is online dating and everything and I feel like someone slapped me across the face. I am not allowed to talk to my own husband anymore. Seriously in shock over all these events..I have to wonder if this is another manipulation tactic or we are over. Guess it shouldnt matter. Thanks so much for listening