One of the most important things I've learned lately about the alcoholic in my life is that I thought all along I was in a relationship with a person who drinks too much, when really I've been in a relationship with the addictive process itself. I read this at
Original Papers, where there is a lot more helpful information.
If you can separate your feelings about your AH into two definite sets: 1) Who you want him to be, and 2) What his addiction really makes him be, then you can get a long way to being realistic about your future with him.
Good for you posting on this forum! There are a lot of very smart, experienced people here.