The best advice already seems to have been given by those much farther along in thier recovery than I am. I just want to welcome you to SR and let you know that we are here for you. So much of your story mirrors mine and many others I have seen here.
So many of the things you ask I too have asked. It's sometimes hard to swallow but after being here at SR for almost two years asking the same questions over and over I'm finally getting it. Finally seeing that choosing what's right for me and my children will never make me the "bad guy". Keep reading and posting and you'll soon see it too.