I feel the need currently to post this on every thread where the woman says she doesn't want to get divorced.
That was me.
I stayed with someone I was not happy with for 17 years because I was afraid of divorce and all that it meant on every level.
I went from a very secure financial situation while married, where I was able to be a stay at home mom, to working two jobs and going to school.
He is engaged (actually was before even separation papers were signed) I am "alone"
I don't have my children every night (he doesn't have substance abuse issues) I have them about 63% of the time (yes I did the math)
MY LIFE NOW IS 1000 TIMES BETTER THAN MY OLD LIFE
I'm tired, things are hard, BUT I am in a much better psychological place.
My family and friends have been incredibly supportive.
Please don't let fear of divorce, and the fantasy of what your life should have been, keep you from making healthy choices for you and your child.
Welcome to SR and Good Luck