Dear HW,
I read your post and I am glad you found this webpage. Most posters are in US I regard, so please be a little patient while they wake up...
I do get the Jekyll and Mr Hyde syndrome.
I learned it is all the same person. You cannot separate Jekyll from Hyde.... Hyde is always dormant somewhere, to strike anytime.
That is the nature of addictions... it is also the abuse cycle. The alcoholic drinks, harms whoever is closest, cries apologizing, next day acts normally. Then the cycle starts all over again.
Have you read the Classic reading under the "Sticky" section on top of the forum? tons of useful information. I regard you are staying in different places?
This is one of the best pages I have found:
Addiction, Lies and Relationships
Have you gone to a counselor or therapist, do you got Al anon over there?