((Heartbeats))
Im an RA (recovering addict), but I also have a stepmom who is an addict, as well as a few family members who are A's - one who is in recovery, one who isn't doing meth any more but still likes his weed and beer
My stepmom isn't abusive, but she is very codie. Just tonight, while probably haven taken xanax, lortab, soma and who knows what else, she had to tell me over and over about something my dad did wrong. He was wrong, but she fails to see her part in what happened.
This is the type of situation I deal with...trying to get sucked into the family issues, as I live with them - thanks to screwing up my career/finances with my own addiction. After spending a LOT of time with the great folks here, I have learned a LOT about codependency, and I am often the only voice of reason or sanity in this house (we are also raising my 16-year-old niece who is experimenting with drinking).
I have had to learn to detach, while living in the same house. It's hard, and I spend a lot of time on the codependency thread for support. I've slowly learned to not take things personal, to realize she (and my dad) are sick and just because they say it, doesn't make it a fact. I've also learned that I can give their issues right back to them.
A dear friend here, once told me to imagine I was in a hula-hoop. Whatever fit in that space was mine - everything outside that was theirs. I spend a lot of time trying to stay inside my hula hoop
It's not easy, I take a few steps forward, then backwards, but I learn from those backward steps. I have learned SO MUCH from the great people here, my life has changed tremendously.
Stick around, read, post, ask questions. I've never had a situation arise, that someone here wasn't able to "walk" me through it.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy