SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

NeedingHelp7 · 11-27-2009, 11:03 PM

Dear heartbeats, First I'd like to say WELCOME!!
There is nothing is more painful and lonely to me than having family members that are addicts. I too have 3, AH, AD, and AS. I'm sorry to hear it's your mother and brother, and father an alcoholic!!!
Thats a triple-wammy also.

A little about AD, she is 24 now, left home due to drugs when she was 18yrs old. Tried treatment with her a few times. She is now 24 and addicted to pills, and she gets very mean on them, facing domestic charges. She told me she is detoxing, but who knows, I haven't heard from her since she told me that about 2 weeks ago. My AH is too a pill addict, and crack binger. But it's the pills he's been on long term. I never saw him overly mean, but boy he could hurt me by all his silent actions(passive aggressive). He has been away from us 3 yrs now. AS moved out 1 1/2 yrs ago, I had to get an order of protect. He now lives with his sister in Utah. He was in jail 2 weeks ago for public intox, and tickets.

What did I do to handle each one? I kicked each one out one at a time, with much grief and heartache. I can't handle addicts and will not even try. If any were to successfully remain sober, I would be there with them all the way except AH.

By the time I arrived at SR I was insane from the many years of insanity chasing my teens trying to get them sober and keep them out of trouble. I met and married a man who previously was a substance abuse counselor and in recovery (thats what he called it, but in his mind pills were okay.) It was and is the pills that are destroying him and his mind.

It truly is like watching your family die. It's heartbreaking. I do understand your feelings too well.

I would recommend you continue here at SR, seek a good counselor, and seek an Alanon meeting in your area.
You will need a lot of guidance, support, and healing yourself from all the dysfunction and abuse that has taken place.

Please Read ALL the stickies above.

You don't deserve to be abused by anyone!

This will take time....it will take willingness on your part to get help for yourself... and it will be painful getting to the healing.

They may not get better but you can!

There is a better way of living!

There is HOPE for you!!

You are going to learn so much on this journey.

Blessings,
NH7

11-27-2009, 11:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
NeedingHelp7 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NY Posts: 1,058	Dear heartbeats, First I'd like to say WELCOME!! There is nothing is more painful and lonely to me than having family members that are addicts. I too have 3, AH, AD, and AS. I'm sorry to hear it's your mother and brother, and father an alcoholic!!! Thats a triple-wammy also. A little about AD, she is 24 now, left home due to drugs when she was 18yrs old. Tried treatment with her a few times. She is now 24 and addicted to pills, and she gets very mean on them, facing domestic charges. She told me she is detoxing, but who knows, I haven't heard from her since she told me that about 2 weeks ago. My AH is too a pill addict, and crack binger. But it's the pills he's been on long term. I never saw him overly mean, but boy he could hurt me by all his silent actions(passive aggressive). He has been away from us 3 yrs now. AS moved out 1 1/2 yrs ago, I had to get an order of protect. He now lives with his sister in Utah. He was in jail 2 weeks ago for public intox, and tickets. What did I do to handle each one? I kicked each one out one at a time, with much grief and heartache. I can't handle addicts and will not even try. If any were to successfully remain sober, I would be there with them all the way except AH. By the time I arrived at SR I was insane from the many years of insanity chasing my teens trying to get them sober and keep them out of trouble. I met and married a man who previously was a substance abuse counselor and in recovery (thats what he called it, but in his mind pills were okay.) It was and is the pills that are destroying him and his mind. It truly is like watching your family die. It's heartbreaking. I do understand your feelings too well. I would recommend you continue here at SR, seek a good counselor, and seek an Alanon meeting in your area. You will need a lot of guidance, support, and healing yourself from all the dysfunction and abuse that has taken place. Please Read ALL the stickies above. You don't deserve to be abused by anyone! This will take time....it will take willingness on your part to get help for yourself... and it will be painful getting to the healing. They may not get better but you can! There is a better way of living! There is HOPE for you!! You are going to learn so much on this journey. Blessings, NH7 __________________ "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you." (Jerem 29:11-12)